Better Offer?

The things I do – whilst waiting for a better offer!

“Time Saving Vibrators”

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I realise we all want that appliance which is going to make our lives just a little bit easier but some times I wonder whether the boffins in white coats invent something for the sake of it.

Cast your mind back 40 years, or ask your grandparents, what it was like to have to get up off your comfortable sofa to switch channels on the television.  I mean, let’s just think about that for a moment.  All that effort involved.  There’s a good chance you would have been holding a glass of something (in my case a glass of the red stuff) which you would have to lean over to the side table or coffee table and place it down.

That involved stretching.  As if that wasn’t enough, you would have to push down on the sofa to lift your body up off your bottom and on to your feet, then take the three or four steps needed to reach the television.  That almost counts as exercise.  And to cap it all off, you would need to extend a finger and push a button or maybe twist your wrist to turn a knob to the next channel.  Is it any wonder you would stagger back to the sofa to slump back down?

So when the boffins invented a little hand held contraption with buttons on it, the whole world sighed with relief.  Or did they?  I’ll bet many people thought it down right lazy to use this hand held device which you just had to point at the television and press a button or two to change channels or alter the volume.  I’ll bet the parents of the time were claiming it was a waste of money to upgrade the television to get one of these things.

But after a while, it became apparent that we couldn’t live with out them.  Just take a look at the device and see how many buttons it has on it.  Then look at the television and work out how to execute some of these functions with out using that remote!

Suddenly, along came video recorders and DVD players.  Each with its very own remote.  The arms of the sofas were piled high with the little devices.  And the most exercise we got was searching down the back of the sofa or behind the cushions when we had mislaid one.

And if we had mislaid one, how did we change the channel?  We’d rather spend ten minutes searching for the remote than ten seconds walking to the television to switch channels manually!

Obviously there are some inventions we do want to thank the boffins for.  Such as food processors and blenders.  Surely they count up there as useful time and labour saving gadgets.  But then came the electronic toothbrush!  Was it really that much work to spend a couple of minutes at either end of the day moving your wrist up and down and backwards and forwards?  No?  Then why did we get a vibrating and oscillating brush we could stick in our mouth’s to do the work for us.

Which brings me onto the latest gadget.  Now, you’ve probably realised I’m not talking about the vibrating devices you may have thought I was going to talk about.  So I’m sorry to disappoint you here.  I have no experience of that type of device you maybe surprised to learn!

There I was in the dressing room last night preparing for the play, when suddenly I noticed that one of my fellow actors had possibly the laziest of electronic time and effort savers I think could have been invented.  A vibrating mascara brush!

I know some women make a real effort of their make up and perhaps the application required takes it out of them but is it really necessary to apply your mascara using a vibrating brush?  Has society reached the level where we simply cannot exert our selves to point of moving a brush which is three or four inches long and is so light it wouldn’t register its weight on a set of scales?

I feel sorry for any women out there who are physically exhausted after applying their make up and just haven’t the strength to finish their eyes – thank heaven for this mini vibrator!

And in case you’re wondering who makes these things – maybe it’s Maybelline!

Here is the product description – it makes a great read, something I couldn’t have made up if I tried:

Discover the power of vibration. Our motor pulses the brush up to 100x a second like no hand can. Powers the formula through the lashes for an anti-clump result.

Pulse Perfection with vibration separates precisely and sculpts lashes perfectly.

A new lash look Pulse Perfection goes beyond volume & length for a flawless fan of lush, perfect lashes.

If you don’t believe me – take a look here!

I think I need a lie down now – will I be able to make it up the stairs – perhaps I should get a stair lift fitted!


Author: Better Offer

I am approaching my saga years (rapidly)! Correction, I have now reached my saga years! I am a thespian who has appeared in commercials and films and on TV, and love my time on stage but am extremely frustrated that I get most my work as an amateur. When not on stage I can be found walking the countryside, leading worship at my local church or running IT training courses and fixing PCs – just waiting for that better offer!

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