Better Offer?

The things I do – whilst waiting for a better offer!

“The First Cut Is The …

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Deepest Hardest!”

Yes, it’s that time of year again, when the sun starts to shine, OK, not today, but yesterday.  It’s time to dust off that lawnmower and cut through the winter growth.  To try to get that lawn looking like a good old English bowling green or putting green on a golf course.

The trouble is, it may have been a bit sunny recently, but after the winter we’ve had, the ground is still sodden.  If I attempted to cut my grass to within an inch of its life, all I would end up doing would be to take massive divots out of it.

So what do you do?  It has to be cut soon otherwise it will be taller than the leylandii. Right now the grass is so tall our cats can hide in it!

The answer – simple, if you understand hair cut terminology!  I decided I would give it a number 4 this week.  Then next week, if the weather is kind, maybe I’ll give it another number 4.  Two weeks time I may jump to a number 2 and by the time we reach May it should be ready for that all important crew cut – the number 1.

My lawn is not like a putting green.  It’s not even like the fairway.  When it comes to any similarities, it has to be the rough.  This means that a conventional lawnmower with rotating blades would be no use on my grass.  It would quite simply dig into the ground and rip it up.

I have one of those mowers which is supposed to hover over the grass to make cutting easier.  I say supposed to because that only seems to work when the grass is already in the putting green state.  So there I was yesterday afternoon pushing and pulling with all my might this easy glide lawnmower.  Desperately trying not to bury the front of it into the soft earth.

It seemed like I was emptying the grass cutting catcher every two yards there was so much of it.  And that was just on the number 4 setting!  If I had have gone straight to the number 1 setting, I would still have been cutting the grass at midnight.  And the mountain of grass cuttings would have been visible from the recently launched Discovery Space Shuttle!

I struggled on, battling away bravely, and ended up with a lawn much shorter, but still can’t find the cats!  I did, however, manage to cut it in very straight lines – lines a bowling green would be proud of.  I just hope Google don’t suddenly refresh their maps or Earth software because then you might just see what a fabrication that last statement is!

It’s done now, so I can rest – at least for a week until it needs doing again.  That’s the trouble isn’t it – once you start, you can’t stop.  This will be ongoing for the next 6 months!


Author: Better Offer

I am approaching my saga years (rapidly)! Correction, I have now reached my saga years! I am a thespian who has appeared in commercials and films and on TV, and love my time on stage but am extremely frustrated that I get most my work as an amateur. When not on stage I can be found walking the countryside, leading worship at my local church or running IT training courses and fixing PCs – just waiting for that better offer!

One thought on ““The First Cut Is The …

  1. Pingback: Should I learn to love the cold? « High On a Hill…

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