Last week, She Who Must Be Obeyed and I had to attend one of those evenings at Small Person One Of Two’s school to hear all about her progress in her chosen subjects. And, without exception, all the comments were positive. It seems Small Person One Of Two has a good grasp of each and every subject she is being taught.
I wish I could say the same about the quality of English spoken by some of the teachers!
Singling out just one, and leaving aside the fact that this particular teacher hadn’t even noticed whether Small Person One Of Two had been in class earlier that day, the teacher announced that, and I quote, “me and Mrs X will be taking you through next year’s course”.
Me and Mrs X?
Surely as a teacher she should know that she should never put herself first in that sort of sentence. Regardless of whether she knows how and when to use I or me!
I wanted to bang my hand on the desk and shout “No!”
I wanted to go over to the blackboard, clear a space and write the sentence correctly.
The only trouble was, they don’t have blackboards anymore. It’s all interactive whiteboards and PCs.
I wanted to make this teacher write out one thousand times “Mrs X and I”.
I wanted to ask this teacher to say the sentence again without making reference to Mrs X. Would she really say “me will be taking you”?
No, of course she wouldn’t. At least I hope she wouldn’t!
Sadly, it didn’t stop there. Another teacher was talking about possible grades for exam results if Small Person One Of Two continues her current progress.
“There is a strong possibility she will get at least a grade A, she might even get like an A star”.
Here we go; we are about to subjected to that word which has crept into the vocabulary of so many people as an additional word which is not required in the sentence.
I’m sure you’ve all heard people talking and using that word:
“He was like really fit, and I was like embarrassed when he was like looking at me.”
What does that mean? Why is everything like something?
When the teacher said ‘like an A star’, what grade could that be? An A is like an A star, just without the star, but she’d already said that was attainable!
I was very glad when the session was over, and I was able to leave the confines of the school’s classrooms. I was desperately looking for a blackboard though!
And then when I got outside, I came face to face with a sign:
“No Skateboarding Prohibited”
Does that mean it was OK to skateboard? I wished I’d had a black permanent marker pen on me to block out the word “No”.
Think I need like a lie down or like a cup of tea! 😉