Whilst out shopping with She Who Must Be Obeyed at the weekend, I found myself in an electrical store perusing 3D televisions.
When I say “I found myself”, I don’t mean that I had been searching for whom I truly was and suddenly had an epiphany among the DVD players. Nor do I mean that I suddenly woke up to find that I had mysteriously entered this electrical wonderland! No, the decision to go in to the store was a conscious one, but looking at televisions was not. The reason I was looking at televisions was purely to kill time whilst She Who Must Be Obeyed tried to access the internet on her mobile phone. We just happened to be passing them when she decided that was the time to search for an item she wanted to check in store.
As I stood like an innocent bystander, I noticed amongst the many flat screen televisions a rather fancy looking 3D screen. Currently showing was Avatar. So I decided to wander over to get a better look. In order to view the picture in 3D, the store had set up a pair of 3D glasses on an adjustable stand. This stand could be raised or lowered to suit the viewer’s height. That is providing the viewer was taller than 3 feet and shorter than 5 feet. As I am taller than both those heights, I had to bend over to look through the glasses.
However, rather than bend at the knees as if picking up a heavy object, I bent over at the hips consequently sticking my rear end out! Suddenly aware of my posture, I tried to raise the 3D glasses as high as I could so that I could straighten my body and not cause such an obstruction.
I had become so focused on reducing the ‘overhang’ that I hadn’t realised the screening of Avatar was now over.
The 3D film now showing was one of three bikini clad girls frolicking (if I may be permitted to use that word) around a swimming pool. The camera focused briefly on the water being splashed around by the girls before dwelling on their ample bottoms gyrating mesmerizingly or zooming in on their pert, bouncing chests.
Water droplets dribbling down the suntanned skin …
Sorry, I drifted off there!
This is where I had my epiphany! There I was adjusting my posture; shifting uneasily on the spot; desperately trying to stand as straight as I could and haul in my rear end, and all the while the screen was displaying what could have been classed as soft porn!
As quickly as I could, I stepped away from the glasses letting them crash back down to the 3 feet high resting place. Nervously, having let the clatter of 3D glasses coming to rest at the bottom of the stand subside, I looked around for other shoppers hoping not to catch a glimpse of the disapproving looks on their faces. A man of my age watching such images in public!
My embarrassment was short lived – fortunately. There wasn’t another soul anywhere near the television section in this store. Not another shopper; not a single store assistant; not even She Who Must Be Obeyed.
No, I was completely alone. Apart from the three scantily clad, sun drenched, bronzed beauties (whoops sorry, drifted off again!).
Actually, they weren’t even there anymore. Now, I realise they weren’t really there in the first place, but the 3D was so good, they looked as if they were. No, the film had changed again, back to Avatar.
So I quickly grabbed the 3D glasses and watched this excerpt again to get a feel for the quality of the 3D screen, making sure I stepped away immediately the film changed back to the three bronzed … (you know the rest).