Better Offer?

The things I do – whilst waiting for a better offer!

Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

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She Who Must Be Obeyed and I were on a bus somewhere in Gatwick Airport. At least as far as we knew!

How did we get there and why were we there? Here’s the story so far…

We were heading off to Egypt in search of some much needed sun. We had booked train tickets to the airport and had arrived at the station in plenty of time only to discover the trains were completely disrupted due to a fire in a signal box. After a hastily organised taxi we had arrived at the airport and were now on a bus taking us from the terminal to the plane which appeared to have been parked in an airport several miles away!

After what seemed like several hours and hundreds of miles, we eventually arrived at our plane and duly climbed the stairs in the rain and boarded ready for take-off. Except, of course, we would have to wait for another couple of bus-loads of passengers to make the long journey from the terminal as 200 odd passengers (I’m not saying all the passengers were odd!) could not fit onto one bus.

Once all were safely boarded and belted, the plane set off on its taxi to the runway. Fortunately, this part of the journey was going to be shorter than the bus ride as we were parked half way down the runway. The runway is a little over two miles in length so whichever way we went, we would only travel about one mile to the end of the runway to prepare for take-off. As it happened, on this particular day, planes were taking off in a westerly direction which meant that the plane would now taxi from where we boarded all the way back to the South terminal where we joined the bus!

So, after several hours of driving beyond the South terminal to the North terminal to drop off the unknown couple; returning to the South terminal to check in; boarding a bus to take us to the North terminal to get on our plane and taxiing back to the South to take-off, we were, finally, about to head to the sun!

All that was left to do now was to settle back and enjoy a comfortable five hour flight to Egypt.

Sorry, that last sentence contains several typos and should read “All that was left now was a five hour flight to Egypt!” Certainly no ‘settling back’, ‘comfortable’ or ‘enjoying’. When will airlines learn that not all people are less than five feet tall? Some of us do have long legs and would like to keep them out of the backs of the seat in front.

At least I had the in-flight exercises to look forward to, and with a nod to the maker of the plane on which I was now flying, I have borrowed some of the images from their website associated with their recommended exercises.

Knee LiftKnee Lift Lift leg with knee bent while contracting your thigh muscle. Alternate legs. Repeat 20 to 30 times for each leg.

I would need to be about four feet tall to manage that!

Knee To ChestKnee To ChestBend forward slightly. Clasp hands around left knee and hug it to your chest. Hold stretch for 15 seconds. Keeping hands around knee, slowly let it down. Alternate legs. Repeat 10 times.

There would need to be no seat in front of me to achieve this.

Forward FlexForward FlexWith both feet on the floor and stomach held in, slowly bend forward and walk your hands down the front of your legs toward your ankles. Hold the stretch for 15 seconds and slowly sit back up.

Notice how his nose is squashed upwards – presumably where it connected with the seat in front!

Overhead StretchOverhead StretchRaise both hands straight up over your head. With one hand, grasp the wrist of the opposite hand and gently pull to one side. Hold stretch for 15 seconds. Repeat on the other side.

Alternatively known as reach for the oxygen mask following strenuous attempts at airline exercises!

Shoulder StretchShoulder StretchReach right hand over left shoulder. Place left hand behind right elbow and gently press elbow toward shoulder. Hold stretch for 15 seconds. Repeat on the other side.

Punch the passenger next to you.

Neck RollNeck RollWith shoulders relaxed, drop ear to shoulder and gently roll neck forward and to the other side, holding each position about five seconds. Repeat five times.

If all else fails, decapitate yourself – at least you’ll fit into the seat a little better!

I kept telling myself – it’s only five hours, it’s only five hours!

Author: Better Offer

I am approaching my saga years (rapidly)! Correction, I have now reached my saga years! I am a thespian who has appeared in commercials and films and on TV, and love my time on stage but am extremely frustrated that I get most my work as an amateur. When not on stage I can be found walking the countryside, leading worship at my local church or running IT training courses and fixing PCs – just waiting for that better offer!

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