Better Offer?

The things I do – whilst waiting for a better offer!


How Many Men Does It Take To Cut The Grass?

As I write this post, there is an awful lot of wet stuff falling from the sky. Figures just released indicate that last month was the wettest April since records began. It must surely only be a matter of time before these record keepers tell us that we also have the wettest drought since records began. Has there ever been a time when so much rain has fallen when a state of drought has been declared? Should I start building a big boat?

One thing I just cannot do at the moment is cut my grass. When the rain does stop for a few hours, there isn’t enough sunshine to dry the grass sufficiently to allow a domestic lawn mower to cut through the forest of dandelions, daisies and foot high grass which have shot up in this drought!

I need to borrow the industrial cutter I saw being used the other day. As I was driving along a dual carriageway, in the rain, I came across a team of workmen cutting the verges on one side of the carriageway. When I say a team of workmen cutting the grass, I mean one workman cutting while the others formed a barrier to prevent anyone from driving into him.

Now, I’ve driven on roads across many countries throughout the world, and it never ceases to amaze me at the difference in the level of health and safety each country applies to its workforce. Some countries may close one lane of traffic by simply putting out a couple of traffic cones just prior to the area being worked on. And this can sometimes seem quite dangerous; however, the preventative measures I encountered here in the UK the other day appear quite excessive.

Lane closed ahead.

At first I came upon one vehicle, which had pulled over onto the verge. This vehicle had a large sign on the back, complete with flashing lights, alerting approaching drivers of a lane closure ahead.

This vehicle had a driver sitting at the wheel waiting to inch forward when the works ahead moved.

In case you didn’t that last vehicle, there’s a lane closed ahead.

A few hundred yards further on, I came across a second vehicle displaying a similar sign. Once again, there was a driver at the wheel.

In case you missed both the previous vehicles, there is a lane closed ahead.

A few hundred yards further on still, I came across a third vehicle displaying yet another similar sign.

We’ve told you three times, NOW move over!

Up ahead I could finally see the lane closure because there was an even larger vehicle blocking the lane. Faced with a massive flashing arrow, I knew I had to pull out! As I did so, I saw the man cutting the grass just in front of this vehicle. So we had four vehicles and at least five workmen just for one man to cut some grass. Bearing in mind the size of the fourth vehicle, and the fact that it had a great flashing arrow and was blocking one of the lanes; did we really need the other three warning vehicles?

When the rain finally stops, and I can get out into my garden to start the cutting of my grass, traffic is going to be held up for miles around with all the signs I’m putting up!